Merging Public and Home School...Some Thoughts

This isn’t going as smoothly as planned.  I support public education.  I plan to have our children return to public education.  I want to have the two worlds merge seamlessly.  That isn’t happening.

Today's assignments

The public school is a very sticky glue that holds our rural community together.  But now we are outsiders.  It’s kind of weird and comes up subtly, but I can see how over time the separation could become significant.

To keep in touch and continue to support our local school Dodger joined the soccer and basketball teams.  I spend Wednesdays running an after school LEGO club and I have volunteered to help with the school play again this year by painting scenery.  Sailor attends an after school yoga class with his old classmates and Dodger has joined in on the school field trips.  He wasn't invited, but I asked if he could go along.  It’s a little awkward. 

It just is.

Dodger, who has a healthy self esteem and rarely displays awkwardness or embarrassment, was nervous heading into the school for a field trip with his old class.  He wasn’t sure how to act or where to sit.  Granted this was only a few moments of hesitation and once back with the old crew things went smoothly, but still it was a little tough on him.  Kids ask him why he’s home schooled, and what he does all day.  He’s an outsider in the group now.  I didn’t imagine kids would even take much notice…but they do.

On the flip side the kids are going to home school events and classes where public school kids are absent.  They’ve joined a home school 4H group and the boys went to a monthly event at a local library where there was a book discussion on DCF and Red Clover books, again filled with home school kids. 

It turns out it’s pretty hard to merge the worlds.

They are really different.

Is one better than the other?

No.  Not in my opinion.

They are too different; it’s not a fair comparison.

Should I be forcing the merge between home school and public school in the effort to stay connected?  Maybe I should back off and not try to have the best of both worlds.  The kids didn’t even want to go to LEGO club last week.  Once they were there, preparing for the club and surrounded by kids who were packing away books into lockers and laughing and grabbing coats, Sailor turned to me and said, “I miss my friends”.  And I know that he doesn’t mean “I want to have a play date” he means, “I want to be part of it, I want to be a part of that group.  I want to belong”.  I felt as if I were rubbing it into his face that he wasn't a part of the school by dragging him there to run clubs with me.

Now, I have to add that as soon as we are home and I explain that it’s fine with me that he goes back to public school and we start to discuss how the days will be, what time he needs to get up and so on.  I find that “rejoining” the group has lost its luster for him and he’s willing to take a rain check on public school.  I’ve told the kids multiple times that they can go back, the only stipulation being that I’d like the return to be after a vacation to ease the transition.  They continue to decline and say they plan to stick out the year!

And so, we’ve been discussing the term “the grass is always greener” at the dinner table lately…